U Say U Want it BUT Do U REALLY!!!

Everyday I have conversations with men and women and the topic is pretty consistent across the board. 'RELATIONSHIPS' ... Both sides say they want marriage or they're in a marriage. Either a man is saying that they're girlfriend/wife isn't giving them what they want whether its conversation, sex, cooking, cleaning, or attention. The women are saying that they're boyfriend/husband isn't providing as they should, be attentive, not listening or giving them the needed affection and really finding who they are as a person. I myself have struggled with this in relationships and at the end of every conversation i find myself saying " U Say U want it but do you REALLY"???? I think everyone who is in a relationship needs to take a step back and really ask themselves that question.

Men:

Women want a man who is ATTENTIVE (women are emotional beings and we need that man to show his interest in us with being present, a distant man will 'never' have a successful relationship because with him being so distant it doesn't allow for growth in the relationship).

A MAN WILLING TO GET TO KNOW THEM (Understanding the likes of a woman, like what type of music they like, do they enjoy live shows, sporting events, traveling...but this is kicker don't just ask these questions in the beginning of a relationship to say you asked actually act on it...show her that you listened and that you want to enjoy and learn her not only learn her but EXPERIENCE her).

LISTEN (to a certain extent, We understand that your not one of the girls and your listening skills will only go so far. This is so important because sometimes women want to confide in their spouse rather than a friend and they want to know that they will always have that listening ear where its not forced).

SPIRITUALITY (I truly believe that having a spiritual presence is key to being successful, pray together, build your spiritual knowledge together, but have it as a forefront to everything you do).

Women:

CONVERSATION (Men want to come home and be able to look at you as there outlet from the stress that had to deal with at work. Instead try listening first and engaging in conversation, let him know that you are there for him).

SEX (a stressed/tired/angry women immediately refrains from having sex with their husband when things are rough and although that is an emotional and physical moment shared between the both of you understand that refraining it only makes things MORE complicated. Instead put your all into the relationship to try to resolve the outstanding issues that you may have. Refraining allows a small window of opportunity for cheating to occur on both sides of the relationship which will then bring in unbearable hurt and pain. When working on the issues when it was on a smaller scale could have been resolved).

COOKING AND CLEANING (OMG I don't know how many times I've heard from men how they've encountered women who are lazy and think they too good to cook and clean. The whole attitude of if you want the house clean, you clean it or if you want to eat then cook , is SO out the window. I'm not saying to be ANY ONES slave but to compromise, be willing to make a meal and keep the house in order...I mean seriously who wants to live in a STINKY house. As long as the man isn't taking advantage and intentionally leaving stuff around because he knows you're willing to pick it up then I see nothing wrong with keeping an orderly home).

ATTENTION (Be attentive, show interest in what he likes and try to incorpoarate those things in your relationship. Be affectionate and remind him of why you started dating, and i know it can be hard at times but dont ever lose the sweetheart that every woman posses, we are there to nurture, comfort, love, and care).

A PROVIDING MAN (There are times where a man may not be at their full potential when it comes to providing but try to work with him and not against him. See if there is way for you to help him reach his goal. Everyone has a time when they struggle, so don't put him down build success drives from MOTIVATION not by a person who is UNMOTIVATED).

Keep it fun and again know to keep God at the forefront of your relationship...work with him and not against!

Relationships are not always EASY, so before you get to deep ask yourself if you REALLY want it!

Til' next time!